Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Misery at Sam's

You might be wondering why this post is titled "Misery at Sam's." Sam's is a wonderful store where everything is comically oversized and husbands and wives enjoy shopping together, right? Wrong! Let me tell you about our experience last night.

Kevin and I had a nice dinner with our friend, Van. On the way home, he said "We should go to Sam's tonight. You want to?" So I said yes, not knowing what I was getting myself into. Upon entering the store, Kevin was immediately drawn to the TV section = bad news for me. After I pried him away from the 50" Vizio that was "calling his name," we headed for the food.

If you know Kevin, you know that he is a man who really likes to eat. Food is more than a basic need for him, it is pleasure. He will tell you this himself. Thus, he was much like a little kid in a candy store at Sam's. We fought about almost everything that went into our cart, and the trip took much longer than it should have.

Finally, we were on the home stretch. I could see the registers in the distance, and I knew we were on the way. It was then that I saw the video games en route to the check-out. I strategically tried to position myself between them and my husband, but was unsucessful. I actually ended up drawing his attention TO the video games instead of AWAY from them. After a heated argument about why $160 was or was not a reasonable price to pay for the "coolest game ever," I was labeled a "dream killer" by my husband and we headed (without the game) to the check out.

We piled our massive amounts of food onto the counter. Then the cashier asked for our Sam's card. Kevin dug through his wallet looking for it, and enventually admitted that it was probably at home. The guy said to go to customer service to get a temporary card to use for the day. Kevin walked over there and left me standing there, guarding our purchases, alone with the cashier (unless you count the numerous disgruntled customers waiting behind me). The cashier, an african american guy about 25 years old or so, proceeded to shamelessly hit on me the entire time Kevin was gone. "You are so beautiful." "What are you so dressed up for" (which by the way I was in a very casual dress that I like to run around in - not dressy at all). "What do you do?" "Oh, so what do you teach first graders anyway?" "What did your husband (points to Kevin) do to marry a pretty girl like you?" "How tall are you? I think tall girls are sexy." And on and on......

Right when it was getting very uncomfortable, Kevin finally comes back with his temporary card. Then the cashier points out that a bag of chips we got is sold in a set of two, and Kevin should go get our free one. I tried to go get it myself, but Kevin was already gone. The guy took one last jab at me during this opportunity. He came around the stand to put something in our cart, looked at my shoes, and told me I had nice feet. WHAT??? Luckily Kevin came back right then, before I had to respond to that one.

As we are FINALLY leaving, Kevin veers off course to go take one more look at the TV that is "calling his name" yet again. Two hours later, we finally made it out the door, loaded the truck, and headed home. What a night!

It will be a long time before I go back to Sam's..............

It will be


Mandy and Jack said...

Eww I hate getting hit on by sleezy men who obviously know you're married. I almost hit a guy for that a few weeks ago. But I restrained.

And as for the video games, well, welcome to the wonderful world of stealing your husband's joy through rationality and financial responsibility. Welcome to the club. :)

Anonymous said...

Great story...cracked me up! Mommy