Not Me Monday!

Here we are again at another Not Me Monday, courtesy of MckMama. I am so excited to share with you some things that I, in NO way, shape, or form, did this week!

1. I didn't go with Kevin and Lindsay (my 16 year old sister) to Freebirds in College Station for a huge burrito the day after Thanksgiving. And even if I had, I would have never teamed up with Lindsay to build a crab out of foil. And even if THAT had happened, I would NOT have tried to stick all different kinds of foods into his pinchers before finally deciding on a piece of fajita steak and a tomato. I then did not take a picture of said crab, because I did NOT think it was brilliant. I'm an adult.

2. I did not give up on Texas A&M during the first quarter of the t.u. game. Then, I did not start hoping only that t.u. did not make the 35 point spread. I then did not almost cry when in fact, they crushed us by 40 points.

3. After spending a fair amount of time painting mine and Kevin's names onto our Dollar Tree stockings, I defintely did NOT get really angry when Kevin, while making his second dinner, scraped his plate across my name and messed it up terribly. I did not get even more angry when he said "It was just an accident. My plate was laying right there." I then did not take a HUGE amount of pleasure in what I was doing as I took out the scissors and chopped his stocking in half, while saying "It was just an accident. The scissors were laying right there..."

4. Speaking of stockings, I did not already stuff Tex's and Bella's with their Christmas goodies. Why would I do that? It's still 15 days before I even start giving them one each night until Christmas. And if I HAD already stuffed them, I certainly would not have done it in front of them, squeaking each toy in front of their faces and then shoving it in their respective stocking. Then I wouldn't have made a huge deal of placing their stocking on the mantle, just above their reach. I didn't start feeling guilty immediately after and decide to start the goodies tomorrow, either.

5. While getting ready to hang our Christmas lights, I would have NEVER allowed my husband to back his truck up next to the roof, place our 6 foot ladder into the back of it, and climb onto the roof that way. And I POSITIVELY did NOT come up with this idea myself.

6. While hanging lights on the bushes and trees, I did not get scolded by Kevin for "wrapping before thinking," in respect to how my creations were going to be powered. I never get ahead of myself. Pshhh...

7. I did not wrap every single present that is already bought simply so I could place them under my tree, because I felt sorry for it. Whay would I feel sorry for a dumb tree, just because it's so cold and lonely with nothing under it? I do not personify trees, or anything else for that matter.

8. I did not choose not to read an email that was sent to the church listserve, only to find out that it contained some very important info about bible class - namely, that there was none. I then did not show up an hour and a half early to church. Then, I was not called out during the service greeting by a man that said "I would like to give you an attendance count from bible class today. There were two people here. I won't mention any names, but we love our nursery teachers." I did NOT turn bright red and slink down in my seat.

9. I didn't discover today that Kevin wanted me to arrange for friends to go out to dinner for his birthday tomorrow, after assuming that we would just spend it with the two of us like we usually do birthdays. I then did not feel so bad about it that I went out and bought two more presents for him, even though we had agreed on zero presents.

10. I did not open my big fat mouth before thinking about it and invite our friends over for chili this week. I am not regretting this decision because I, in fact, have never made chili in my life and, as a rule, am not particularly great in the kitchen. I ALWAYS think before I speak.

What have you NOT done this week?

Check back tomorrow for Tattle-tale Tuesday! !