Today we went on a field trip to the Environmental Studies Center for my district. I took a lot of pictures, but maybe I'll post those tomorrow when I find my camera cord. For today, I'll just share some hilarious happenings of the day. First off, know that this field trip was only about an hour long. Also, know that if I could have hand-selected the most difficult and challenging group of 8 kids to put together for the activities, I would have chosen the 8 that were in poor, sweet, old lady Mrs. Brown's group at the ESC. You see, I was on the bus helping the kids unload as the groups were being formed, and I didn't notice the unfortunate turn of events that was taking place. By the time I did, all of the other groups were gone and poor Kelly (an assistant in the behavior classroom at my school) was just about to take on the role of Mrs. Brown's helper all alone. This group included 'Jake,' his "wife" E, three of the four behavior kids, and 3 other innocent bystanders.
It probably turned out to be one of the most enjoyable and funniest hours of my job. Definitely the funniest field trip ever. I think Mrs. Brown was wondering who she made mad this morning to deserve this group. The whole time she was trying her best to teach them about organisms and habitats, the kids were blurting out, getting completely off topic, and occasionally screaming out about one thing or another. Here are some of the more memorable moments:
1. We knew it would be an interesting day when our first bus pulled into the circle, stopped, and the muffler clanked to the ground. We had to get another bus and ran 30 minutes late (which could have been bad since we were supposed to arrive back right before the dismissal bell).
2. 'Jake' always speaks very loudly and matter of factly. The first crack out of the box:
-J: Is that really G's dad?
-Me (as were walking right on the heels of G's dad): Yes it is.
-J: He talks and he looks like a hobo.
...G's dad chuckles...
-Me: Jake, just because someone doesn't look or talk just like you, it doesn't make them a hobo or anything else. Everyone is different, and G's dad is just different.
-J: Yeah. Because he looks like a hobo.
3. Then Mrs. Brown asked the kids what the rings of a tree can tell us. T yelled out "They tell a beautiful story about how the tree lives."
4. Then we had a bee scare. Sweet Mrs. Brown took the opportunity to teach the kids about honey bees and how they die a terrible death if they sting you, so they have to be really scared to do so. She was really trying to get the kids to empathize with the bees. Then all of the sudden "street T" came out. He started talking all roughly and shouting "YEAH! GOOD! I'M GLAD THEY DIE! THAT'S WHAT THEY GET FOR STINGING ME! NEXT TIME THEY BETTER THINK ABOUT IT AND KNOW BETTER! The rant didn't stop until Mrs. Brown just gave up and walked away toward her next point of discussion.
5. As we were looking at the river (which, judging by G and Jake, has live squids and anacondas in it), T was too busy looking OVER the river at the nice neighborhood in the distance on the other side of the property line. He started telling Mrs. Brown about how he was going to buy one of those houses. Kelly told him he better study hard and get good grades, go to a good college, and get a great job to be able to buy a house there. Then this convo happened:
-Mrs. Brown: "Well, I went to a famous college and got great grades, and I still cant afford to live there."
-Me: "Yes. I suppose it matters what career field you choose to go into."
-Mrs. Brown: "More so, it matters what man you marry!"
6. Then we headed into the little cabin with all of the animals in it, which was so cool but also, as you can imagine, pretty smelly. The first thing we met was a corn snake. She was teaching the kids about how the snake smells with his tongue. She had the kids stick out their tongues and said "See? You can't smell anything with your tongue, can you?" T said "Yes. I sure can. I can smell bad stink!"
7. Jake ran away from the snake screeching because he was convinced that the snake would think he had a rat in his pocket, and thus devour him in one bite.
8. I spent a good portion of my time "slicing" through Jake and E's "husband and wife" hand-holding with my folder. I couldn't keep them off of each other!
At the end of our trip, as we were loading our bus, I looked at Mrs. Brown and said "You've had quite an interesting afternoon, haven't you?" She looked at me with a very serious face and said "Well, yes. It was....fascinating."
At least we had a sweet tour guide with sense of humor! That's what you need to survive those kids!!!
A Perfect Ten
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