The Tattle Book

I am so tired of kids running up to me to tattle on people for silly things! A "tattle" is defined, in my class, as any "telling" when there is not someone getting hurt or in danger of getting hurt. If someone takes your pencil, you are not in danger or getting hurt (unless of course you pounce on that person and subsequently get punched - another story for another day). Thus, it's a tattle.

Today I started the "Tattle Book." It's a yellow spiral notebook with sad faces on it. I told my kids that any tattles can be written in it and I'll read it at the end of each day after they go home. I had no intention of actually doing so. However, for some reason I picked it up and thumbed through it today after school; let me tell you it was HILARIOUS. We started the book at 1pm, and before school was out at 3pm they had two pages filled! Here are some of my favorite tattles. See if you can decipher them, it will be fun!

1. I am mad at you MW for sotping my gam.
translation: I am mad at you Mrs. White, for stopping my game. YES. The first tattle in the book was on me!

2. J din let D du hre tr.
translation: J didn't let D do her turn.

3. A mak me ciy.
translation: A made me cry.

4. I tadd bcuz i told vat piipol wr plug tag.
translation: I taddled because I told that people were playing tag. (tag is a big issue because, in this version of the game, you get tagged by being kicked in the shins).

5. N was rasting.
translation: N was wrestling.

6. K is copin.
translation: K is copying.

7. J rast avbde in awr tabl.
translation: J raced everybody in our table.

8. K hit me on the leim win I was seeing on rag and I was seeing and iren wen you was redn a Book abot pumpkin.
translation: K hit me on the leg when I was sitting on the rug and I was sitting and I ran when you were reading a book about pumpkins - I know, what???

9. N didon gif me my peso.
translation: N didn't give me my pencil. At first I thought...peso? Like the money? Then I remembered a scuffle over a pencil.

AND PROBABLY MY FAVORITE, BLUNT TATTLE:

10. be quit evrybady.
translation: Be quiet everybody. This one was written in all bold AND underlined. Somebody meant business.

So I ask you, if these tattles all were written in less than 2 hours...do you see the need for the tattle book? Maybe these tattle give you just a teeny bit of insight into what goes on in my classroom every day!